


Ambush - Freier Fall/Free Fall musings

by thelastaerie



Category: Freier Fall | Free Fall (2013)
Genre: Canon Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 08:31:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17117966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastaerie/pseuds/thelastaerie
Summary: Extended scene and my take on the “Don’t you get it?  I love you” scene from the original film.





	Ambush - Freier Fall/Free Fall musings

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so spelling, grammatical mistakes and bad writings are all mine. I’m just borrowing these wonderful characters to make up stories for my peace of mind.

[](https://ibb.co/tLPy31w)   
[Marc & Kay](https://aluminumsulfate.net/ammonium-sulfate)

 

“I’ll fuck whoever I like!” Kay shouted back at me, angry anddefiant.

 

I felt like I’ve been shot, my insides were squeezed and my lung tightened.I couldn’t breathe.Rage and some nameless fear swirling inside me.Because he was right.I had no claim on him.When I asked him if he was fucking other guys in that gay bar, I had no leg to stand on.I told him to leave me alone and he did just that. He could do whatever he wanted, sleep with whoever he fancied (and there would be plenty willing bodies, I was most certain), and there’s nothing I could do or say. 

 

While waiting for him in the dark earlier, I convinced myself I came here to confront Kay, to tell him he can’t blackmail me with his new out status in the unit.That I needed to take control of this thing... this mess between us. 

 

But it was all bullshit I told myself.The second I heard he got caught during the raid in a gay bar, I was going insane with jealousy.I imagined him dancing with other guys, his body gliding along other male bodies that wasn’t mine.Him kissing some faceless guy with the same abandon he did with me. 

 

He advanced to me, “what is your problem?”

 

I stepped back, still speechless.

 

“Nothing but ‘me, me, me’ for you”, Kay continued his onslaught. 

 

“But what about me, Marc?What about me?” He pushed my shoulder.

 

I turned away from him.No no no, I thought.In fact, it’s always you, Kay.You were always there, you occupied my mind all the time.And I can’t... I can’t.

 

But I didn’t say any of that.Couldn’t.

 

“Don’t you get it?” He grabbed my arms, clearly frustrated, he said gently but urgently, “I love you.”

 

I stared at Kay.There.He said it.Out in the open.

 

He shook me a little, “Marc?”

 

I couldn’t.I just couldn’t.I had to get away.I pushed him, he didn’t let go of my arms, trying to get me to look at him.

 

“Leave me alone,” I protested weakly, tried to shake him off, “please.”

 

Please, Kay.I can’t. 

 

But he grabbed my arms, searched my face and said, “I am not sleeping with anyone else.”

 

I stopped my struggle for just a fraction of a second. Fear and relief warring in my head, horrifyingly, I felt the tears coming. I took a big gulp of air, I was shaking all over. 

 

Kay wrapped his arms around me tightly, I finally broke down and allowed myself to lean onto his shoulders, let out a quiet sob.

 

I hugged him back, even tighter.I didn’t want to ever let him go.We kissed each other lightly, like testing water, the wounds were still so fresh.Then inevitably, we deepened the kiss because it was never enough once we started.I touched my forehead against his, sighed.Both of us felt emotionally drained. 

 

That was more than an hour ago. 

 

Kay was sleeping now, he had a slight furrow between his browslike he’s contemplating a maths problem in his dream.I gently smoothed it with my fingers. 

 

For the first time, we made love with more tenderness than the usual urgency.I tried to say sorry to him in my touches and he forgave me with his.I still couldn’t believe I punched him the other day.I felt sick every time I thought of it.I nearly broke his tv again tonight when he retorted, “go ahead.Hit me.” when I accused of him of ruining my life. 

 

I was so prone to lose control whenever Kay was involved, it scared the hell out of me sometimes.

 

Nothing’s promised. Nothing’s solved. I knew tonight changed nothing.My life was still torn between the safe quiet family I knew so well and the life in which Kay loved me.

 

It’s getting late, I knew I needed to leave.Bad enough that I lied to Bettina about doing yet another night shift, I also had to make up an excuse to Frank to get out of after work drink, so I could ambush Kay in his apartment.

 

I looked down at our entwined fingers.

 

Maybe another 15 minutes.


End file.
